everything hurts

After 24 years writing topical jokes for Dave and original comedy material for celebrities and presidents, I am now available to make YOU funnier. If you have a speech or presentation that needs to be written, rewritten or punched up, if your dream is to have people come up to you afterward wiping their eyes and saying, “I haven’t laughed like that since my competitor was audited,” this is the only stop you need to make. Below is a partial list of people for whom I've written:

Contact me at billscheft@yahoo.com for rates.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

MARV ALBERT

RICHARD BELZER

LEWIS BLACK

BOB AND TOM

MATTHEW BRODERICK

STOCKARD CHANNING

CHEVY CHASE

ELVIS COSTELLO

BOB COSTAS

KATIE COURIC

LARRY DAVID

ELLEN DEGENERES

JEFF FOXWORTHY

GILBERT GOTTFRIED

BRIAN GRAZER

TOM HANKS

SAMUEL L. JACKSON

REV. JOHN JENKINS (Pres of Notre Dame)

BARRY JOSSEN

MICHAEL KEATON

NATHAN LANE

QUEEN LATIFAH

DENIS LEARY

NORM MACDONALD

PENNY MARSHALL

EVA MENDES

LES MOONVES

BILL MURRAY

DAN PATRICK

REGIS PHILBIN

COLIN QUINN

RICK REILLY

CHARLIE ROSE

CHRIS ROCK

KURT RUSSELL

ADAM SANDLER

PAUL SHAFFER

GARRY SHANDLING

WILLIAM SHATNER

MARTIN SHORT

WILL SMITH

JIMMY SMITS

UMA THURMAN

VINCE VAUGHN

BRUCE WILLIS


OTHER SHOWS I’VE WRITTEN FOR:

ACADEMY AWARDS

EMMYS

TONYS

ESPYS

VH1 FASHION AWARDS

AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS

DGA AWARDS

 


ONE NIGHT ONLY: DON RICKLES

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE SALUTES

THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW

FRIARS ROASTS

COMEDY CENTRAL ROASTS

DENIS LEARY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

POLITICALLY INCORRECT

LINKS

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